Today Was Hell on a Ritz Cracker

I was supposed to clean my room today and I did in fact did fill one large black Hefty bag with old catalogs, magazines, mail from 2008 etc. that was stacked and scattered about in-between mom ducking her head in to make sure I was cleaning and not on the computer.

Grrr, Then she asks if my toilet is working and I tell her, “as a matter of fact, no it isn't.”

She starts screaming, “Oh God! Oh God! People are coming, people are coming!”

I'm like calm down, who's coming? Then I said, "never mind that, just call them and tell them not to come."

She finally sputters out that her sister Louise, my cousin Denise, and her son Malcolm are coming. Then she tells me that they said they wouldn't come if it was raining. At this point it's like noon maybe 1PM and it has been raining since like 10 PM last night. I am stupefied as to why she didn't just say, it's raining don't come.

No one answers at their house and she goes into melodramatics. I call Denise on her cell and tell her the deal. She's like okay that's cool, thanks for calling. Then I tell mom to do what I asked her to do 3 months ago and call the damn septic pumping company!

Miraculously, it registers this time.

The septic guy was out on a call. Got here around 3 or 4 PM, I don't remember exactly; and this next part is priceless.

He tells my dad, what I told dad & mom 3 months ago. The septic field is flooded because the ground is saturated. This is why the toilets only back up when it rains. Actually, Tex told me this and that if we didn't take care of it ASAP we would end up with puddles of sewage in the backyard and in the kitchen sink and it would cost a small fortune to fix. I told my folks exactly this in early March. I tell them to call and get the septic field fixed, drained or whatever every time it rains. Because every time it rains the toilets back up and the bathroom sinks gurgle. This has been happening since at least fall 2008. But no one listens to me because I am the baby girl and apparently an idiot.

They never listened.

So today we paid $350 to have the septic guy pump 1200 gallons from a 1000 gallon septic tank.

Probably woulda been half that if they had called in February or March.

But even better, because the ground and septic field were so saturated, due to all the rain we have had; once he pumped the septic tank, 200 gallons of water from the septic field came rushing back into the tank. I could hear it, like water rushing into a giant metal bucket. Chad was kind enough to explain what the rushing water sound was. For the math minded people this also explains why he was able to pump 1200 gallons out of a 1000 gallon septic tank.

If the rains keep up he guesstimates he will have to come back in a month to do the same thing. His recommendation in the meantime is to A) fill in the sink holes in the front yard. Oh, did I forget to mention the sink holes that have appeared in the front yard? Two were there when we moved in, but they have become deeper in the last month or two. One just appeared like a month ago. Which I have already put like 80 pounds of top soil in, but you can’t tell. I’ll post pictures tomorrow. Apparently those are places where the septic field has saturated the ground.

Don't get me started on what kind of asswipe builder puts the septic tank outside the master bedroom window, so that the septic field takes up the entire front yard and part of the side yard. B) Apparently we don't have enough septic lines because our house was built in 2003 and the law changed in mid-2004. The folks moved here in August 2004 so we need additional septic lines dug/installed which will cost approx. $2,000-$3,000.

In between all this Tex was calling like every 30 minutes because he was bored and driving in a no cell zone somewhere in Indiana so his calls kept dropping. Mom would come and ask me a question about how to make a hotel reservation and get snippy because I was on the phone and not at her beck and call. Mind you, I told her what to do yesterday but her short-term memory is shot and it’s just not worth arguing about, so I just tell her everything 53 times.

Tex can hear our banter back and forth and is like didn't I tell you 3 months ago, to tell them to get a septic guy out there?! I said yes dear, and I told them. Mom’s reaction was to get her bathroom renovated. (There will be a blog about that once I get the pics sorted out.)

Septic guy, (his name is Chad) needs the hose, so I put on my duck boots and go out back to get it. I completely forget that the pool cover doesn’t extend as far onto the concrete as it did in Jersey. So I think I am walking on cement and I take a step down into the pool because the cover has a lot of give to it. I landed on the first step and got wet up to the knee. Left foot/and leg stay on level ground but I twist my left ankle. Major pain along with being pissed off at being wet to the knee. Start to scream for help and realize no one will come. Mom has gone to the Dollar Store and Dad is out front with Chad. So I just suck it up, get up, and grab the muddy hose out of the grass and go.

Mom it turns out was still home, but on her way out. She gives me the poor baby look when I explain why I am wet and muddy on one side and tells me to sit down and elevate my now throbbing left ankle; but I can't because dad isn’t wearing his hearing aids so he hears next to nothing Chad says. So I have to stay outside near the open septic tank which stinks to high heaven to act as interpreter, plus run and turn on the hose whenever Chad needs it.

Like 2 hours later Mom brings home grilled KFC & hot wings but they only gave her 2 meals not 3. So she had to go back. In the meantime the septic guy has left and I took a hot shower. I ate 5 hot wings drank some Kool-Aid, watched some TV and promptly conked out on the sofa. I slept from about 8:15-10:30PM, missed dinner and was just completely wasted.

Now I'm awake, my ankle is not swollen but sore.

I love my parents I really do; but living with them at this stage of their life is like living with 80 yr. old toddlers. I need someone my parents respect and trust to tell them that there are times when I tell them what to do and they have to do it.

I fully comprehend that they fear losing their independence. Trust me, I did not plan on having to be a caregiver to both so soon. I would LOVE for them to remain cognizant and able to do everything forever. But there are some things they can't do or don't know enough about and when I tell them how to fix it, or do it, they need to snap to!

Same thing happened 2 weeks ago with dad's car and the tires. If they had, had the tires rotated in October when Tex told them to because they were wearing unevenly, they probably could have gotten away with only buying 2 tires instead of 4.

Tex is a trained mechanic, they know this. Did they listen to him? Nooooooo. That sounds too much like sense.