I'm Scared.

I'm scared. Daddy hasn't been doing well this week at all. He has Parkinson's and his symptoms seem to have intensified lately. On Wednesday when they came back from the senior center he couldn't get himself out of the car by himself. That's only happend once or twice before, but it was last winter when he first came home from the hospital. His sudden weakness and inability to stand up from a sitting position is odd. It scares me, it terrifies mommy.

Mom has been helping him in and out of bed for months now. We had the master bath re-done in May to accomodate him.

Today after he came from the center he was still hungry, so mom fixed him a ham and cheese sandwich and gave him some water and a slice of poundcake. I keep telling her not to give him sweets cause he's diabetic, but she doesn't listen to me. He lost 21 pounds during the 3 weeks he was in the hospital and rehab center back in January. Mom has been trying to fatten him back up ever since.

After he ate, he was cold, because I had the a/c set to a frigid 77. He went outside on his own power using his cane; and sat on the deck to soak up the warmth. This is normal for him in the summer. When mom checked on him an hour later he was napping. She noticed dad had changed into his swim trunks before he went outside. She put on her swimsuit and was gonna try to get him to do some movement exercises in the shallow end. But then the phone started ringing, and she put in a load of laundry. I was finishing up painting the trim in the bathroom. Long story short, the next time she happend by the kitchen door he was calling for her in a low hoarse voice. Apparently he had tried to get up and couldn't! Mom immediately came and got me and said, 'he needs help getting up.' Daddy claimed to have called both of us for almost an hour and was scared he would have to spend the night out there. Mom said no way was it an hour. But the truth is one of the symptoms he has been having trouble with is talking loudly or even in a normal voice. He thinks he is speaking in his rich bass like he did years ago, but really it's almost a whisper and his voice trails off at the end of sentences. Lately, I have to lean across the table to hear him say grace at dinner and it's not that big a kitchen table.



I had to literally pull him out of the chair today. It's just one of those plastic resin patio chairs, but we put a super thick pillow in it, so it's not so low and he can get up by himself. Once we got him to his feet, he started to sway and said, "I'm falling." Mom said no you're not and put his cane in his hand. I ran to the bedroom for his rollator. I wasn't gone a full 2 minutes and in that time he almost fell over and took my mom with him. :( I had to literally reach down and lift his feet so he could move, even with the rollator. It was scary . . . for all of us. We were able to get him into the bedroom and helped him to lie down. He looked so weak and a little grey. He went to sleep almost immediately.

There is no cure for Parkinson's. There are treatments, but they don't seem to be working well with my dad; maybe because he is 81 now. Or maybe because he refused various treatments when they were first offered 3 years ago; because he thought the Lord would heal him.

Mom came into my room around 2:00AM and I could tell she'd been crying because her eyes were red, and watery. I hugged her and said it would be okay, but we both know it won't be.

Life is . . .

Life is not about waiting
for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance
in the rain.

Buonna Notte

I gotta hit the hay, big day ahead of me. Lots of chores and errands cause mom's ladies bible study group is coming over tomorrow night. From what I understand, the August meeting is more of a picnic and the husbands and kids come too. Should be fun.

It's called a gun safe. Buy One!!

Police: Ga. Teen Awakes From Bad Dream, Shoots Sister 10 Times In Head

AUGUSTA, Ga. -- Authorities in Georgia said a 14-year-old boy awoke from a bad dream and shot his stepsister in the head 10 times while she napped on the couch.

Richmond County Sheriff's Lt. Scott Peebles said Eric Lee Phillips Whitehead has been charged with murder. Whitehead is charged as an adult in the Friday afternoon death of 22-year-old Patricia Ann Troglen.

The teen told authorities he considered his stepsister to be his best friend, but he became enraged after he dreamt about an argument with her.

Police say the teen awoke, got a gun from his stepfather's room and shot his stepsister.

Peebles says Whitehead had been in and out of trouble and had been staying at his stepfather's home temporarily.

The sheriff's office didn't know Saturday whether the teen had an attorney.
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IMHO no sane person dreams about an argument with someone they allegedly love or at least like; and then emptys a gun into them. Something must have been mentally or neurologically wrong with Eric Lee Phillips Whitehead. He wasn't sleep walking. He had to know at age 14 that dreams are not reality. Therefore his actions were intentional.

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I am so sick of these senseless deaths!
A high school junior was killed in Carrollton, GA Friday night because he and a friend were'playing with a loaded gun. WTF!?!?! I grew up in a house with guns. I was also taught gun safety.
Rule #1 NEVER point a gun at another human being!
Rule #2 NEVER use a gun in anger.

Family: Suspect In Basketball Player’s Death On Suicide Watch

CARROLLTON, Ga. -- The teenager accused in the accidental shooting of a Carrollton High School basketball player has been placed on suicide watch, according to the suspect’s aunt, Vickie Ware.

Ware told Channel 2 Action News reporter Ashley Hayes that she took her nephew, Johnta Chism, 18, to turn himself in at the Carrolton County Jail.

Authorities said Chism was playing with a gun and pointed the weapon at his best friend, 16-year-old D’Vante Rashad Williams.

Witnesses said Chism didn’t realize the gun was loaded. Williams was taken to a nearby hospital and died.

Police said the incident occurred at the student’s home in the 500 block of Willie North Street in Carrollton at about 9:30 p.m. Friday.

“He (Chism) didn’t mean to do it," said Williams’ mother, Michelle Strickland. "I can't hold a grudge against him."

Carrollton police Capt. Jamison Sailors said Chism was arrested late Saturday night and faces one charge each of manslaughter and reckless conduct in Williams' death.

Athletic director David Brooks confirmed that Williams was a basketball player at Carrollton High School.

The suspect’s aunt said both of Chism’s parents died when he was young. Ware said ironically, Chism’s father died of a gunshot wound while playing with a gun.

For the love of God in heaven if you have children and you own a gun, get a gun safe! Do not give the children access to the combination or key to the gun safe.

I wish I'd been there for Girl Scout

I always wanted to be a Girl Scout. I went to a private school that was quite a distance away and didn't get home in time to go to meetings.

When I'm a multi-millionaire, some Asbury Park is in order

Greetings From Asbury Park NJ

Buy a beach house in NJ. I grew up down the shore and I miss it.

Living With Crazy - I

My 79 year old mother just fell off a step ladder onto the new hardwood floors. I of course ran to her aid. She started crying and yelled at me when I tried to help her. I was told to: "Shut up, just shut up and go away!" Apparently she asked for my help this morning, but I was asleep and didn't hear her. Mom does this a lot she'll come into my room tell and/or ask me to do something and because I talk in my sleep I answer her; usually in the affirmative. Then later that day she gets angry at me for not doing what she wanted me to do. Does my mother know that I talk in my sleep? Of course she does! My father also talks in his sleep too, so maybe it's hereditary.

Mom shrieked and screamed so loud even daddy who is very hard of hearing, heard her and came hobbling with his cane to help. Now he's all shaky cause argueing and yelling make him nervous.

A bit of background info: We had new engineered hardwood floors installed in the living room, dining room, and hallway on Tuesday. The floor looks gorgeous! BUT the contractors which Home Depot hires will only move 5 pieces of furniture in each room. For about 10 days prior to the installation mom and I had to empty the china closet and the buffet of it's contents. This meant wrapping everything in bubble wrap or plain newsprint and neatly putting it into boxes and then storing the boxes in the computer room. We also moved all the small furniture that we could, leaving the heavier stuff for the floor installers. After the floor was installed my dear, sweet, crazy mother decided that every glass, dish, bowl, plate, and platter had to be cleaned before being put back into the china closet.

Here's the thing, the stuff was clean when it came out of the china closet! It was carefully wrapped and packed away. Why did everything have to be re-washed? Because my mom is an OCD/NPD freaking nut! I admit the silver was a bit tarnished as it hadn't been cleaned since Christmas; but other than that EVERYTHING was clean!

Poor dad, about 40 minutes after she fell he came with his walker to tell me she won't even talk to him; and he doesn't understand why. Poor guy, I know why she's angry. She's angry because he is physically unable to help because of his Parkinson's Disease. She told him around noon time on Saturday that she did not want his help because he shakes too much, and if he broke a piece of her good china or a crystal champagne glass she would probably start screaming and not stop. {This is true!} I know it sounds unkind but at least she was honest.

Now I am sure some of you are wondering why I didn't help her wash the 4 sets of china, crystal, and glasses. Because we only have one kitchen sink and it's not big enough for the 2 of us to stand side by side washing stuff. Plus, my mom has NEVER been satisfied with the way I have cleaned anything in my entire life. I'm not a moron, I know how to clean, but if I do it even one smidge different than how she does it, then it's not clean/right. That's where her OCD comes into play. An item can't just be cleaned, it has to be cleaned her way.

As for me, I told her Thursday I didn't think the dishes were dirty and she should stop wasting time and just unpack the boxes. She said, "No, company is coming and I won't have people talking about how I live in a dirty house." Did I mention mom has OCD about cleaning, she also counts things incessantly? Our house is never dirty. My mother majored in home economics back in the day when that meant something. She does not now, nor has she ever kept a dirty house.

About that company we're having, they will be here on the 2nd Monday in August. It's just the Circle 3 ladies from church. It's a ladies bible study group and each month they meet at someone elses house. The hostess provides dessert and the other ladies all bring a main dish or a salad dish. They seem to be a nice bunch.

So now I pray, I pray for her to not have seriously injured herself. The last time she fell off a ladder she had to have knee replacement surgery. She's lucky she didn't break a hip! I pray that she stops being such a beeyotch to dad and me. But most of all I just pray that I can take care of them for as long as possible and that I am never faced with the decision to put them in a home.