Saturday, June 27, 2009

Mystery Malady

So this morning (Saturday, 6/27/09) around 4:00 AM I am puttering around on the PC, whilst eating popcorn and drinking lemonade. I dropped a piece of popcorn on the floor and picked it up with my toes. Yeah, I know I'm weird; but I've been picking stuff up with my feet since I was a kid. Besides it's not like I was gonna eat it.

Anyway as I lift my right foot to put the popcorn in my left hand I had the most God awful stabbing pain in my lower right abdomen, near the pelvic bone. It felt kinda swollen, then I was sidetracked by the immense heat, nausea, and dizziness that swept over me. I have a portable a/c unit in my room and I was cool and comfy mere seconds before. Now all of a sudden, sweat is popping out on my forehead and I'm nauseous. WTF?!? When I try to put my leg down the pain gets worse and I feel a hard knot, like a large marble, between my belly button my pelvic bone. I push on it and it hurts bad, but then it disappears and the pain goes away. I stumble to my bed and basically pass out until about 11:00 AM.

My self diagnosis was a hernia until I of course checked the net and now I am thinking possibly appendicitis because I have had intermittent nausea, dizziness, lack of appetite, and consistent tenderness in the lower right quadrant of my abdomen all day.

I have an ominous feeling that this is most likely appendicitis; but I don't want to go to the ER on a Saturday night. That's when all the drunks, bar fights, and domestic violence people are in there. Plus I want a real surgeon, not a student who will make my belly look like a Rand Mc Nally map. I'm hoping I can hold out until at least 9 AM on Monday. Then again maybe it's something routine but not potentially deadly like a hernia.

Oh and the third option is, adhesions from my most recent surgery in May. That was a hysteroscopic myomectomy.

Anyone with a medical background want to take a stab at a diagnosis?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Septic Tanks Are Barbaric








The septic tank and leech field debacle continues. Chad started to dig today
as you can see. He thought he was putting in additional septic lines
but it seems someone (phone, cable, electric who knows?) cut through
the septic field lines. And the reason we have had to get our septic
tanks pumped 3 times in the last 7 weeks
is because we have only been
using one-third of the available septic lines. So I'm not sure if he
can repair that or if we still need new lines dug.

Don't even get me started on why the septic tank is in the front yard underneath the master bedroom window. We've got 1.25 acres most of which is backyard. They should have put it there!

I'm not being elitist, septic tanks Are barbaric. Coming from the civilized north where septic tanks are as common as hen's teeth; to Georgia where they are as common as Walmart. I just don't understand. A septic tank and field is a functional but extremely archaic way to remove human waste. No matter how well constructed and maintained you always run the risk of contaminating the ground water supply.

If it weren't for bad luck, I swear we wouldn't have any luck at all.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

2 niggaz in a pickup truck

My parents, my mother in particular has a long history of not believing me when I tell her something. It doesn't matter what it is, she just assumes I am wrong and anybody else is correct...especially if that someone else is a male. Her mother was the same way. So I guess it's hereditary, or maybe it's just because mom is of the last genration to think men must have all the answers.

Anywho I was trying to get the pool clean. We didn't open it until last Wednesday because mom said not to. More on this monumental headache later.

Mom almost bought $138 worth of frozen steak and fish from '2 niggaz in a pickup truck' today. I think my blood pressure went through the roof. The guys worked for some shyster company, the name was neatly printed on the side of the truck to give an air of legitimacy.

I looked at the meat but it didn't look fresh, even though it was frozen and cryo-vac'd which is like being hermetically sealed. The website was on the side of the truck so I quick looked it up and found all sorts of complaints! I printed out one and mom didnt believe me! She listened to that shyster salesman. She believed some black man off the street over ME!!!! I was PISSED OFF!
I went back and printed out 3 different complaints and finally she believed me. She grudgingly made them take the meat out of the freezer in the garage. Luckily she had yet to give them a check.

Let me tell you, I was LIVID! When I tell you something is a SCAM and provide proof of said scam, then Damn It you better believe me and do as I say.

Whatever you do, DO NOT buy anything from The Cattle Exchange! The company is real, but the product is substandard and it's basically just a scam. They come door to door selling frozen steaks, burgers, fish, shrimp and I think they had some pork chops. Best part of the scam it's not a freezer truck. It's a pickup with a freezer in the back of it. The kind you bend over and reach into, that you buy at Sears. What is this plugged into? It was 3 PM when they got to us, how long had it been unplugged? Since 8 AM or 9AM? Meh, no thank you.


Bottom Line:
When I tell you the berries are ripe, get your basket and start picking.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Matricide isn't murder . . .

If I can get my blood pressure down and settle my nerves long enough to stop thinking matricide is worth the time I would have to serve in prison. I will blog about what my beloved mother did today to set me off; and put me in such a foul mood. This may take some more wine. Yes, I have already had one glass of chardonnay.