Just Ranting About the Usual

Dad fell twice last Thursday (12-3-09), the 2nd fall landed him in the ER with a mild concussion. His first fall was when I was at my shrinks office. Apparently he fell walking from the driveway into the garage with his 4 pronged cane. He gets nervous about steps. Fortunately, we live in a ranch house with no steps. He got all nervous & shaky due to the 1.5" elevation in the concrete from the driveway to the garage. Mom got hysterical and started crying cause I wasn't there to pick him up, as I did the previous week when he did the same thing. Finally she ran next door to our neighbors house and one of the guys there was able to come and help get daddy up and into the house.

The 2nd fall happend maybe 4 hours later at Captain D's. Mom had decided she didn't want to cook dinner that night so they went out. Dad fell walking out of the restaurant with his cane. The floor in Captain D's was not wet, it's just how he is now that the disease has set in.

I wasn't there cause I had to take the handyman home. I hired a handyman to help me get the 8' Christmas tree that mom prefers out of the shed in the backyard, and into the house. There is also a 6' tree but she doesn't like that one. At this point my life revolves around keeping mom happy so she doesn't bitch at me. Actually that's pretty much the story of my life.

The handyman also had to disconnect the old broken tv in the folks bedroom, take it out of the entertainment center, move it to the garage; and hook up the new 27" flat panel, LCD, HDTV to the cable box. Mom had purchased a new TV on black Friday. Dad as you know has Parkinson's Disease and is unfortuately all but useless to us around the house. I just didn't have the strength necessary to lift that large old television up and out of its perch.

Oh, the handyman is also a bit of a computer geek and he was able to install my new soundcard. He also sharpened my pocket knife. All that for $20! God Bless America.

Mom fell Sunday, getting off the bus, in the parking lot, at the senior center. She made it through the entire trip w/o a mishap and falls getting off the bus 5 miles from home. Her knee went out on her, this happens often . . . like daily. Usually if she wears her knee brace she doesn't fall all the way to the ground like she did on Sunday. She was lucky her only injury other than her pride was to her left elbow. It's a little bruised and the skin was scraped off in about a 2" area. I have been putting Neosporin on it and a clean bandage daily. It is healing nicely.

Tomorrow I have to schlep all the Christmas decorations out of the shed and into the house. Then I have to start writing out moms and my Christmas cards and get them into the mail.

Friday, I have to do the grocery shopping, start decorating the tree and do a host of other junk.

Taking A Break From Caregiving

Taking A Break From Caregiving
How do you avoid caregiver stress or caregiver burnout? Parents of high-demand children need to rest and get away.

Many people worry about burning out from the constant drain of caring for a child 24/7, and this can be an even more crucial issue for the parents of a child with bipolar disorder, ADHD or other serious mental health condition.

Parents frequently hear questions such as "How can you stand to be with your kid 24/7?". The answer can be found in one word… Respite. Without planning adequate opportunities for the parent/educator/caregiver to be free from demands, rested and rejuvenated, parenting is likely to rapidly deteriorate into a painful power struggle benefiting no one.

Sometimes the other parent can provide "time off" for the parent, but for single parents or parents who have a spouse who travels, additional plans must be made. Grandparents might provide respite by taking the child(ren) for a few hours or overnight. A local high school or college student can be hired for a relatively low wage and provide respite. Schools who have psych programs or special education programs often have students who would jump at the chance to work with a child with a psychological condition. When more stable, many children with a mental illness benefit from classes such as art classes or volunteer work, and that time can provide a brief respite as well. It is imperative not to neglect this most urgent of issues if you are to remain effective parents and happy people.

Sometimes an article resonates with you; and this one sure did for me. I don't have children yet but I moved back in with my parents 2 years ago because my dad [80] has Parkinson's and my mom [78] just needed help around the house and with him.

As the only child, I am now the sole caregiver to my parents. I know many of you know what that is like. For me I liken it to living with 80 year old toddlers. There is a lot that they can still do for themselves, yet there is a lot that they are now unable to do and it changes by the day if not the hour.

They aren't senile, for which I am truly thankful. Though my mom is getting a bit forgetful she is competent and pretty fit for her age. Dad walks with a walker and as a former Army drill sargeant during Korea is still quick to bark orders. Don't get me wrong I love my parents dearly, but there are times when I just want to be alone. To go to the mall by myself without someone pulling on me that they are tired and want to go home NOW.

That's where my darling Tex comes in, he is my rest and my respite. Those 5 days I spent on the road with him last month were the happiest and most carefree I have been in ages.

Even better the stuff I can't handle around the house or yard he does and never complains. He actually likes manual labor and is glad to have something to do to keep busy when he isn't on the road. My folks adore him and my mom has taken to making 'honeydo lists' for him. I usually cut those short a bit and tell her he can't do some stuff just so I can have some time alone with him. Besides which I don't want her wearing my man out.

I also have a good friend up in North Georgia who I usually get to see about every 2 months or so. In the summer I go up and spend a week with her and she usually spends a few days here at Christmas or Thanksgiving. She lives with her 90 yr old mom and understands what I am just starting to go through, with my folks; so it's nice to have somebody to which to vent and drink margarias with.