My Friend From Red Bank Is No Longer Visiting

Yahoo! My crimson tide has finally stopped flowing after 17 days. I'd stand up and cheer, complete with kart wheels if I weren't so darned weak from blood loss.


In honor of the end of my period I have listed some of Aunt Flow's Menstruation Euphemism's some are funny, clever, gross, pornographic and others are just down right sick and perverse; IMHO. I thought I deleted the odd sexual or pornographic ones. If I didn't it's probably because I had no clue what it meant or how it related to a womans menstrual cycle.

Arts and crafts week at Panty Camp
At high tide
Aunt Dot
Aunt Flo(w)'s in town
Aunt Rose visiting
Aunt Ruby

Big Red
Bitchy witchy week
Bleedies
Bloody Mary

Calendar days
Charlie popped out of the bush and I need allies
Checking into the Red Roof Inn
Closed for business
Closed for maintenance
Closed shop
Code red
Cousin Claudia
Cousin Tom (Time Of the Month)
Crimson curse, The
Crimson tide, The
Crimson wave, The
Curse, The

Dam has burst, The
Dark week, The
Dead week
Dishonorable discharge from the Uterine Navy

Falling to the communists
Flying the red flag
Friend from the Red Sea

Game Day for the crimson tide
Gift, The
Girl time

Hammock season
Having the painters in
Hunt for Red October, The

Kitty has a nosebleed, The

Lady days
Lady in the red dress
Little Red Riding Hood (in the woods)

Massacre at the Y
Misery, The
Monthlies
Monthly bill
Monthly curse
Monthly time
Monthly trouble
Monthly visitor
Moody monthly
Moon time
Moses parting the Red Sea
Mother nature's curse
Mother Nature's gift
Mucking out
My cup of joy is overflowing

Nosebleed in Australia
Nuisance, The

Oil change
Old faithful
On the blob
On the rag
Ordering l'Omelette Rouge
Out of commission
Out of order

Pad straddling
Painters are in, The
Panty painting
Panty shields up, Captain!
Periodical
Playing banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band

Rag, The
Ragtime
Red dollar days
Red flag is up, The
Red letter day
Red light district
Red moon rising
Red ribbon week
Red rider's revenge
Red river blues
Red scare, The
Red snow, The
Red special
Red wings
Red witch
Riding the cotton cowboy
Riding the cotton pony
Riding the crimson tide
Riding the crimson wave
Riding the red ball special

Saddling Old Rusty
Santa's bringing the presents
Scarlet letter, The
Seeing red
Sitting on a sock
Squeaky mattress symphony
Snatchbox decorated with red roses, A
Soggy box
Sprung a leak
Strings attached
Surfing the crimson tide
Surfing the crimson wave

T.O.M. (Time Of the Month)
Taking Carrie to the prom
Technical difficulties
That time of the month
Time to change the filter
Tin roof's rusted
Tomato boat has come in
Train wreck
Trolling for vampires

Up on blocks

Vampire's bag lunch
Visit from the Cardinal, A
Visitations, The

War in Virginia
Weeping womb
Wound of Eve that never heals, The
Wounded clam